{"id":77,"date":"2012-12-16T08:07:09","date_gmt":"2012-12-16T08:07:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/?p=77"},"modified":"2012-12-17T02:02:23","modified_gmt":"2012-12-17T02:02:23","slug":"test-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/?p=77","title":{"rendered":"The Pony Tank Saga"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s story time!<\/p>\n

So, a couple of weeks ago I was visiting home for Thanksgiving\/my birthday, and my cousin came over to watch the most recent episode of MLP. As he walked into the room, he brought a gift bag out from behind his back, gave it to me, and said “Sorry, I couldn’t resist”. Inside was this:<\/p>\n

\"Just<\/a>

Just what I always wanted…<\/p><\/div>\n

Yup, that’s right. Brushable Twilight, all-fours Spike, and Pinklestia. I thought it was pretty hilarious, although I’m not generally much of a merch person. As such, the question became how best to use it…<\/p>\n

It was at this point that my parents pointed out we were having a white elephant gift exchange in a couple of weeks, and this could be an ideal entry. I was intrigued. How could I best maximize the hilarity value when it was opened? First idea: wrap it in duct tape. Nothing’s more manly than duct tape, right? I wrapped it in a brown paper bag, then completely covered that with duct tape. The result reminded me of the base of a tank, which was perfect — who’s going to suspect ponies inside a duct tape tank? I drew tank treads on the sides, found a CD-spindle cover to use as a turret, and hot-glued the whole thing together to get this:<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The completed tank<\/p><\/div>\n

Fast-forward to the night of the gift exchange. For those who aren’t aware, the rules of it work like this:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Each person participating brings a gift to put under the tree.<\/li>\n
  2. Everyone draws a number out of a hat. The numbers range from 1 to the number of people playing.<\/li>\n
  3. The person with number 1 selects a gift under the tree, unwraps it, shows it to everyone, and takes temporary custody of it.<\/li>\n
  4. Each successive person now has two choices: They can take a new present from under the tree, or they can gain control of one of the already-opened presents, forcing the old owner to go looking for a new present (either opened or unopened). They can’t take the present they just lost directly back, but all other presents are available to them.<\/li>\n
  5. Once a person has gained custody of a particular present three times, it’s theirs for keeps.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As it turned out, the person who drew Number 1 was my gamer-savvy friend Ben, who enjoys things like World of Warcraft and Unreal Tournament. I did an internal fist-pump as he went directly for my tank.<\/p>\n

    \"Ben<\/a>

    Ben takes the bait<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Ben<\/a>

    Ben contemplates how he’s going to get the rather thoroughly-wrapped package open<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Leathermens<\/a>

    Leathermans solve everything.<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"First<\/a>

    First things first. Time to cut away the turret.<\/p><\/div>\n

    <\/a>

    Ben deliberately flipped the package over while examining the turret for hidden goodies. He was disappointed it was empty.<\/p><\/div>\n

    At this point Ben’s sister leaned over to me and said, “Please tell me there’s pretty ponies inside or something.”\u00a0 It was all I could do to keep a straight face.<\/p>\n

    \"Hilarity<\/a>

    Hilarity breaks loose in the room as Ben reveals the contents of the tank with a cry of “FOR PONY!”<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Close-up<\/a>

    Close-up of the de-turreted tank. I totally didn’t plan this; Pinklestia being highlighted like that was a happy coincidence.<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"I<\/a>

    I explain the circumstances which led to the tank as people continue to snicker.<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Ben<\/a>

    Ben finishes gutting the duct tape shell.<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Ben<\/a>

    Ben displays his new “prize” to the room.<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Ben<\/a>

    Ben pimps his new possession to each person looking for something to take.<\/p><\/div>\n

    Luckily for Ben, number 4 or 5 was Violet, a little girl for whom (it would become clear) a My Little Pony figure set would make her night.<\/p>\n

    \"Laughter<\/a>

    Laughter and a collective “d’aww” went up from the female population of the room as Violet hugged the playset like it was her best friend.<\/p><\/div>\n

    \"Violet<\/a>

    Violet hid the box behind her for the rest of the night and glowered protectively at anyone who looked like they might take it away from her.<\/p><\/div>\n

    So yeah, I was pretty pleased with how it all turned out. Not only did I get to troll one of my friends, but I apparently made a little girl very happy. Success all around!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It’s story time! So, a couple of weeks ago I was visiting home for Thanksgiving\/my birthday, and my cousin came over to watch the most recent episode of MLP. As he walked into the room, he brought a gift bag … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=77"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":80,"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions\/80"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=77"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=77"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reviews.olsonnetwork.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=77"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}